• NARANON FAMILY GROUPS • CALGARY • ALBERTA • CANADA •

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STEP TEN

NarAnon Step Ten

Step 10: Continued to take personal inventory and when we were wrong promptly admitted it.

In the past, before working the Steps, no matter what circumstances caused our emotions, whether we understood why we had them or not, we were prone to believe that our conduct was appropriate in the way we reacted to them. We were quick to always point the finger at someone else. We hardly ever questioned our own statements, decisions or behaviours, even though we had nothing to do with the problem. Remember how surprised we were when we learned the truth? As we worked each Step, we began to progress and were able to admit and accept our characteristic imperfections. Maintaining a changed attitude is not a one time occurrence of behavioural adjustment, but an unending daily process of self-examination. It is easy to slip back into our old behaviour. The Tenth Step suggests that we monitor our reality in the thick of things - on a continual basis and work through them in a timely manner.

When we entered NarAnon it was clear we wanted to change our life for the better. The Tenth Step sustains this change, for it assists us in maintaining the ability to examine our motive, admit our wrongs, and forgive ourselves and others promptly. Swallowing our pride and humbling ourselves when we recognize that there is something we are saying and/or doing that is inappropriate is growth, and is a good start towards breaking bad habits. "At times I have a tremendous ego and it's difficult for me to think, needless to say admit, that I am not right in all my affairs. For me, this is a humbling experience and I sometimes feel vulnerable."

Humbling ourselves is only one element of this Step; another is admitting it as soon as we are aware of our wrongs. Sometimes we take awhile just to acknowledge that we made a mistake. It is important to rectify the situation as quickly as possible. There were times we did admit that we were at fault, but how long did it take us? "My pride was so strong that even when I knew I was wrong I would procrastinate, thus prolonging the bad feeling between the other party and myself."

The last segment of the Tenth Step is examining our strengths in order to maintain a balance. This balance allows us to look at both good and the bad sides.

The Tenth Step helps us to routinely look within ourselves; it helps us observe how we relate to those around us, and it serves as a reminder to help us think, grow and live one day at a time.

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