• NARANON FAMILY GROUPS • CALGARY • ALBERTA • CANADA •

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STEP THREE

NarAnon Step Three

Step 3: Made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of God, as we understood Him.

There is a saying in Ala-Teen Twelve Step Program that says, "God can't do his work if you're standing in his way."

Several years ago a popular song said, "If it don't fit --- don't force it --- just relax and let it go. --- Just 'cause you want it --- Doesn't make it so."

Some people use the three strike rule. Try three times to force your will --- and then turn it over to your Higher Power.

Many of us in NarAnon find Step Three very difficult to apply to our lives. Some of us come to a stop at Step Three while others just step over it. We are not willing to turn our will and life over to a God or Higher Power that we don't know or understand. For too long we have been the controllers, the ones our families expect to fix things. A lot of times we were there to help even when our help was not needed or wanted and even rejected. How many of us have called the addict's employer, lied about their being late or not going to work? How many of us have paid the traffic tickets, the bails, the lawyers, the rent, the bills and covered up for them when they didn't show up at family and social affairs? We got the information for the addicts about the recovery centers and meeting schedules. We took them to their meetings and gave them advice on how many and how often they should attend. We have done (and some of us still do) for our addicts the things they need to do for themselves. We forced our will and didn't allow the will of the Higher Power to be done.

As we started to work this Step, most of us became confused about when we are helping and when we are hindering. Maybe if we could just remember that the addicts didn't need our help when they started and continued their drug abuse, we might be able to step aside and allow them to suffer the consequences of their actions and seek their own recovery. Maybe if we could learn to, "Let go", and apply the Serenity Prayer to our lives, we might be able t o make a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of God or a Higher Power

Serenity Prayer
God, grant me the serenity to accept he things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can and the wisdom to know the difference.

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